


Thinking Out Loud

by otaku_trash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otaku_trash/pseuds/otaku_trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the song by Ed Sheeran</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

> i listened to the song and i was suddenly like damn. i need to write about this

_When your legs don't work like they used to before._

Tooru's legs have always had problems. He overworked them constantly, trying to practice anytime he could. He knew he wouldn't be able to beat Tobio, but it kept his mind off of the crushing defeat that he knew was inevitable. 

Hajime was so worried for him. He took care of Tooru, and tried to keep him from practicing too much. He couldn't always save him, of course, but he did whenever he could.

Then came the matter of when they were older. Tooru was weak, and his legs could barely be used. It wasn't so much the physical pain. He felt guilt, and sorrow, and rage. He remembered the blood and sweat and tears. He knew that everything he did, everything he sacrificed still wouldn't get him to the level that Kageyama Tobio was born at. His legs. Long and silky smooth, so pure and pale that all the girls marveled and felt twinges of jealousy when they watched him play. A beautiful curse. 

Hajime loved them enough for the both of the two men. He loved them, and would always love them.

_And I can't sweep you off of your feet._

Hajime was always carrying Tooru.

Tooru's legs were a problem to himself, so Hajime carried him everywhere. He swept his love off the couch and onto it, too. He picked Tooru up and dropped him onto the bed, rough, and impatient, filled with desire that Tooru wouldn't deny him of. He picked him up, and gently laid him down onto the bed. They were both tired and sweaty, panting and smiling despite their sticky skin.

Age wore Hajime's big and strong muscles down. Even though he was healthy, and he exercised an appropriate amount each day, he was still not as strong as the days of his youth. 

Tooru didn't mind. They spent a lot of time laying there in bed, comforted with the presence of each other. Tooru wouldn't mind spending eternity with him, smiling and laughing and kissing until they were out of breath.

_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?_

They were too tired, too busy to touch each other. They didn't have enough time to be holding each other for all eternity.

Tooru didn't mind.

It was the little things that still kept him happy and feeling loved. Hajime gave him a chaste kiss each morning, and that was enough. Tooru tasted his love in the sweet coffee Hajime made for him, and it kept him satisfied.

Tooru had to leave for a while, because being a sports maniac meant traveling long distances. Hajime treasured him for a night, and kissed him long and sweet. Tooru was content. He didn't think about how long he would be away, but rather how long it would be until he came back home. He was home soon enough, flying into the arms of a lover who would wait for him forever.

_Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

Hajime first saw him laugh as a small child.

They had only recently met, but they were already friends. Tooru had tagged along and they were searching for bugs. Hajime had been chasing a bug and had bumped into a tree because he wasn't paying attention. He grumbled about how stupid the bug was, as well as the tree. Tooru had fallen over from laughing, and Hajime thought it his smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen until Tooru had stood up and looked him in the eye. 

His eyes sparkled, laughter and the trace of a smile still shimmering in those eyes. They contained the stars that Tooru always blabbered about. Hajime felt a warm feeling in his chest, but he ignored it in favor of catching bugs again.

Tooru always teased Hajime, but with good reason. He loved the way Hajime's eyes would smile, the way he looked at Tooru with nothing but fondness. He looked past the irritated shove and annoyed comments, and in his eyes he would always find nothing but smiles and love.

They both knew that they would be seeing each other's eyes and silent smiles until the day they died.

_And darling I will be loving you til we're seventy._

They had first started dating, and Tooru was so afraid.

He didn't want to screw it all up. He had loved Hajime so hard, for so long, that he didn't know what would happen if they ever split. 

Hajime had caught on soon enough, and he confronted Tooru. Tooru had an emotional breakdown and sobbed about how he didn't want Hajime to leave him. Hajime held him until he stopped crying. 

He told him he loved him, and they would be together forever. Tooru couldn't imagine a future without Hajime. They grew up together.

They grew old together.

Laws changed as time went by. They wasted no time getting legally married. 

Tooru woke up everyday with a smile. 

Hajime woke up everyday and felt the weight of a shining ring on his finger.

They were in love.

_And baby my heart could still fall as hard at twenty-three._

They were just out of college, and still dancing around their feelings. It was Tooru's birthday, and he had spent it with his friends. Mattsun and Makki had left early, and no one ignored the way Mattsun's hand slipped into Makki's. Makki smiled, and it was gentle and full of love.

Hajime confessed as soon as they were back at their apartment. Tooru cried.

Hajime woke up before Tooru, and marveled at the fact that Tooru managed to look even prettier than usual. 

His hair was messy and wild, unlike his usually perfect hair. His lips were parted just slightly, and his eyes were closed in a way that made his eyelashes look longer than usual. His entire body was littered with bruises and bite marks that Hajime himself had left. 

The light shone on Tooru, and he looked ethereal.

Hajime's heart swooped. He wondered how he managed to fall more in love with Tooru than he already was.

_And I'm thinking bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways._

Tooru wasn't sure when he first fell in love with Hajime.

Maybe it was when they first met. Hajime was confident, and his eyes flashed and matched his grin. He introduced himself and wasted no time before dragging Tooru away to catch bugs. 

Maybe it was when Tooru got into volleyball. He was constantly practicing and playing. Hajime started to play too, just to make Tooru happy.

Maybe it was in middle school, when Hajime was there to pick him up and shake him back to reality. Tobio had barely gotten away from his wrath. Hajime kept Tooru's anger at bay.

Maybe it was in high school, when Hajime waited for him at the gate of his house and dropped milk bread into his hands. Hajime was always spoiling him, and doing everything for him.

Maybe it was in their last game together, when Hajime was there to spike for him.

Maybe it was in college, when he came home and Hajime had already made dinner for him.

He wasn't sure when it was, but he knew that he wouldn't stop loving Hajime any time soon. 

_Maybe just the touch of a hand._

Hajime knew that he liked Tooru. He knew he had a crush, and he knew that his heart wrenched whenever Tooru got a new girlfriend. 

He didn't think it was more than a crush.

But then there was the last high school game. There was the loss. There was Hajime slipping away to cry by himself. Tooru followed him and they held each other for a while.

It was on the bus, when Tooru slipped his hand into Hajime's, that he realized how much he loved Tooru.

_Oh me I fall in love with you every single day._

Hajime woke up to Tooru's sleeping face.  _He looks like an angel,_ he thought to himself. His heart felt like it was going to burst. 

He slipped away to make breakfast. 

Tooru woke up to the smell of coffee.

He went to the kitchen, and Hajime was making him coffee. Tooru's heart swelled. 

They were both in too deep, and they were both reminded of it every day.

_And I just want to tell you I am._

Every morning, a light "I love you" was muttered into Tooru's hair. Every morning, once Hajime had slipped away into the kitchen, Tooru smiled ridiculously.

Every night, before they went to sleep, Tooru told Hajime how much he loved him.

Every time one of them left the house, they would let those three words slip out. It didn't matter if one of them was asleep, because it would still be uttered.

They told each other every day, in different ways. Sometimes, they would tell each other flat out. Other times, it was made clear with actions and emotions.

They loved each other. 

_So honey now, take me into your loving arms._

Tooru jumped into Hajime's arms every chance he got.

Hajime held Tooru close every chance he got.

They were always holding each other.

They held each other when they were upset. Hajime held Tooru when they watched horror movies, and he could feel Tooru practically shaking. Hajime held Tooru when his grandmother died, and he was sobbing into Hajime's shirt. He held Tooru when they won, and when they lost. He held Tooru when he was exhausted, and when they were too out of energy to do anything. He held Tooru when there was no one else to hold him, and when there was everyone to hold him.

Tooru loved Hajime's warmth.

Hajime was his home.

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars._

They were together, far away from home. Hajime had heard about the upcoming meteor shower and almost immediately drove Tooru to an isolated spot. There were no city lights to ruin the night sky.

They were laying together.

The grass was cool underneath them. It tickled Tooru's arms.

Tooru pointed out all the constellations and excitedly told Hajime about stories and aliens.

Hajime listened. 

Tooru's eyes crinkled when he smiled. The light shone on his face.

Hajime turned and grabbed Tooru's face. Tooru's eyes widened slowly.

Hajime leaned in and let their lips brush.

He pulled away. Tooru's eyes were still wide.

They leaned in again. Tooru closed his eyes this time. Their teeth clashed together and their tongues met sloppily.

There was nothing in the world but them.

_Place your head on my beating heart._

Tooru was nervous.

Hajime could tell. He told Tooru so many times that he shouldn't be, but he still was.

He sighed and pulled Tooru gently to his chest.

He told Tooru that he was nervous too. He reassured him that it would be fine.

It was.

Hajime's mother cried tears of joy. She talked about how Tooru's mother was expecting a girl, and that they daydreamed about their children growing up and getting married. They still hung on to the hope that maybe they would get together anyway, and how their dreams were crushed when they learned about Tooru's hundreds of girlfriends.

Tooru was confused. Hajime laughed at him.

Tooru asked for confirmation. Hajime's mother told him that they would love them unconditionally.

There were lots of tears, but overall, it was a good experience.

 _I'm thinking out loud_.

They were lying in bed together.

They were cuddling, and Tooru was talking about something. Hajime was staring intently but he wasn't listening.

Hajime was thinking about how much he loved Tooru. He thought about everything Tooru did for him, and everything about Tooru in general.

Tooru asked him what he was thinking about. 

Hajime told him.

Tooru's eyes widened. His entire body was red, and he stammered and blabbered about random things. Hajime laughed at him.

Maybe it was because it was the first time he had told Tooru that he loved him.

_Maybe we found love right where we are._

They were constantly urged to go off and meet people.

They were constantly urged to leave their childhood home to meet someone who might be the love of their life.

Hajime couldn't stand it. 

He wanted to be content with just Tooru. But how could he, if he hadn't confessed? 

Tooru still had his thousands of girlfriends. Hajime was oblivious to Tooru's feelings, which reciprocated his own.

Hajime confessed on Tooru's birthday.

Their feelings grew stronger. They found love without having to leave home.

Maybe it was because they were each others' home.

_When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades._

Tooru's precious hair was leaving his head rapidly. It was to be expected of, from an old man, but he was still upset about it.

Hajime's hair was also shedding. He didn't really care.

They were so old.

They were constantly making new memories and forgetting old ones.

They didn't really need their memories. They had each other, and that was enough.

_And the crowds don't remember my name._

The name Oikawa Tooru was never lost, but it was less spoken of, and less heard of.

He was a legendary volleyball player. He was a gorgeous model.

Less people confronted him on the streets. Less people gushed about how they were a huge fan.

It wasn't like Tooru minded.

He had Hajime. Hajime had him.

That was enough for the both of them.

_When my hands don't play the strings the same way, mm._

Tooru was one of the only people who knew that Hajime was good with music.

They probably wouldn't even imagine it. A volleyball player. A spiker and an ace. A man who was so rough on the volleyball court, but was gentle and quick with instruments.

He could play every instrument that Tooru knew of. It was amazing.

Hajime continued to play. He was too old for volleyball, but not too old for music. He played until he was too old.

Tooru enjoyed Hajime's music. Tooru enjoyed the sound of Hajime's deep voice humming and singing. 

Tooru didn't mind when he couldn't play anymore.

_I know you will still love me the same._

Tooru had just come out to the team.

It was his last year in high school, and he was graduating anyway.

He didn't really care about what others thought.

Everyone took it well, of course. Tooru smiled. He was kind of surprised.

He had gained confidence from the knowledge that no matter what, Hajime would still be there for him.

He didn't care if everyone hated him. He didn't need anyone but Hajime. Even if Hajime wasn't there to satisfy Tooru's romantic needs, he was Tooru's pillar.

That was enough to keep him going.

_Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen._

They grew old together.

They were old. They were physically worn and unable to do much.

They didn't really mind.

Hajime knew that no matter how old they were, Tooru would still be as energetic and ridiculous as always.

Tooru was still competitive and constantly excited about everything.

Hajime didn't need his youth, as long as he had Tooru with him.

_Baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory._

Tooru was leaving home for the first time.

He was excited, of course, but extremely nervous. He hadn't left Hajime for such a long time before.

Hajime reassured him over and over that it would all be fine.

It was time for Tooru to board the plane. He turned one last time to give Hajime a quick kiss and a smile. Then, he was running off for the flight.

Hajime held onto that smile, and it got him through the week that Tooru was gone.

From then on, whenever Tooru left somewhere, Hajime thought of his smile.

It kept him going.

_I'm thinking bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways._

Hajime remembers when he fell in love with Tooru. 

It was when they were little, and Tooru would laugh at everything Hajime said.

It was when they were in elementary, and Tooru talked about aliens and stars.

It was when they were in middle school, and Tooru genuinely smiled while receiving his award.

It was when they were in high school, and Tooru was strong for the team even when he felt the worst.

It was when they were in college, and Hajime woke up to Tooru for the first time.

It was every day they spent together, over and over. Hajime fell in love with him more and more each day.

_Maybe it's all part of a plan._

It was almost amazing, how everything coincided. 

All of the Karasuno team were in a relationship with each other.

The first years at Seijou were together.

The second years at Seijou were together.

Makki and Mattsun were together.

Tooru and Hajime were not together, but they awkwardly stood from the side together and watched everyone in their happy relationships.

Then, Hajime confessed on Tooru's birthday. Then, they were the most in love out of anyone from Seijou.

It all coincided, and Hajime questioned whether it was actually a coincidence or not.

_I'll just keep on making the same mistakes._

Tooru continued to practice. Hajime continued to yell at him. They would get into the same huge argument over and over.

When they started dating, it was completely different.

Tooru practiced less because he knew that Hajime was so worried about him. Hajime yelled less because he knew that it meant so much to Tooru.

They fought about other things.

They fought about little things and huge things. They pushed away the fact that they loved each other to scream and tear each other apart.

They got into a huge argument and Tooru stormed out of the house.

At first, Hajime didn't care. He blew off steam and eventually came to. Then, he was worried. It had been a while since Tooru left. He started checking everywhere Tooru might have gone, with no luck. He finally found Tooru at Makki and Mattsun's place, crying his eyes out. He let out a sigh of relief and dragged Tooru home. He held Tooru and apologized to him.

After that, they never got into any other big arguments. They were too in love to be fighting.

_Hoping that you'll understand._

Tooru always got his way with Hajime. 

He would whine a little, or pout, or do something to get what he wanted.

It wasn't like Hajime was going to deny him either way. He spoiled Tooru too much.

Then, there was that one time when Tooru came home and found Hajime sleeping on the couch with a lumpy thing on his stomach.

He pulled the blanket up and found that the lumpy thing was a puppy.

Hajime woke up and smiled apologetically. Tooru groaned, wondering why his boyfriend was such a gentle sap.

They kept the dog.

_But baby now, take me into your loving arms._

They lost.

They lost, but it didn't matter. They had each other and that was all they really needed.

They lost, and their team was crying. They lost, and they were crying.

It didn't matter.

Hajime held Tooru close to him. They were hugging each other. Tooru clutched onto Hajime's shirt like it was the end of the world.

There were so many things that had to be done, but they didn't think about it.

The rest of the world didn't matter if Tooru and Hajime had each other. 

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars._

They were seven years old, and they were laying together in the backyard.

Tooru was so excited. He talked about stars and space and aliens.

Hajime thought he held the galaxy in his eyes. They sparkled and shimmered. It was beautiful.

Tooru grasped Hajime's hand as they stared up at the sky. 

Tooru sighed and stared up in wonder.

Hajime leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

It was the first kiss Hajime had given him, but it wouldn't be the last.

_Place your head on my beating heart._

A horror movie in the dark.

They were cuddled up on the couch. The popcorn was forgotten. Hajime's hand made its way to Tooru's hair.

Hajime heard Tooru's slight gasps. He looked terrified.

Hajime sighed and placed Tooru's head onto his chest. Tooru relaxed upon hearing the comforting thumps of his heartbeat.

Tooru fell asleep before the movie ended.

Hajime fell asleep, too.

_I'm thinking out loud._

Tooru dreamed of a home with Hajime in it.

Music played softly in the background.

Hajime was holding Tooru, and they were dancing in the kitchen. He hummed the tune of the song into Tooru's ear. There was so much space, but they held each other close.

He did get a home with Hajime in it.

There was little space, and the only place they could really dance was in the living room. They carefully moved around the couch and the table. 

They would bump into furniture, and hiss loudly. They would laugh at themselves and each other as they swayed to a slow beat.

It didn't matter if they lived in a mansion or a shack. As long as Tooru was with Hajime, he was at home.

He told Hajime as much, laughing when Hajime got flustered.

_That maybe we found love right where we are, oh._

When he was little, Tooru thought he would have to travel long and far to find love.

He treated it like a quest. He would travel the world and fight people in order to be with his true love, whoever that was. 

When it was all over, when he had found a pretty girl to bring home, he wouldn't have to go away again.

He could just stay where he was and be with Hajime again.

He was in middle school when it occurred to him that Hajime was the most important person in his life. No matter where he was, or who he was with, no one compared to Hajime. 

He was in high school when he realized that you can still be far away from someone even if they're the closest to you.

He was in college when he realized that he was an idiot.

Tooru was glad that he wouldn't have to go on a quest and leave Hajime.

_So baby now, take me into your loving arms._

An excuse.

Any old excuse. Tooru was desperate at the time, thinking that he wouldn't get a chance to do this with Hajime after they both had other people to love. A high school boy, who had immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. An idiot, who didn't know that the person holding him would gladly do it any day. 

Neither of them knew at the time. They just made up excuses to be in each other's arms.

Tooru would throw himself into Hajime's arms, and Hajime would instinctively catch him and hold him. Tooru had lost any sense of shame a long time ago. He wanted to make the most out of these experiences while he could. Hajime didn't particularly care, either. 

Hajime was happy to be there when Tooru injured himself. Hajime was glad that he was the one taking care of Tooru. Tooru was happy to feel those familiar arms wrap around him.

Hajime was happy to spoil him, if it meant that Tooru would thank him with a hug every single time.

They were stupid. They were oblivious, and dense, and everyone had figured out that they liked each other.

Most of the team thought they were dating. Poor Kindaichi was so confused when Tooru had come out, wondering why one would need to come out if they were so blatantly obvious about their relationship. Kunimi cleared things up for him, leaving Kindaichi even more confused and embarrassed.

Tooru didn't care about what anyone thought. He just wanted to be held, because the time would come when they wouldn't be able to hold each other any more.

Tooru didn't know that they would finally stop dancing around their feelings later on.

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars._

The night was absolutely perfect.

They were outside, dancing to soft music. It was unnecessary, really, when they had the sound of cicadas and wind and natural background noise to listen to as they danced across the grass. They were barefoot, and they were twirling around. 

Eventually, they stopped dancing to admire the night sky.

It was beautiful. Hajime never thought that he would be able to see the stars so clearly in a city like this.

Tooru spread out on the grass. He wore a soft smile on his face. Hajime noticed how excited he was, much like every other time they stargazed.

Something pressed uncomfortably at Hajime's back pocket. He pulled it out, knowing that he would be doing this sooner or later.

Tooru turned at the shuffling noises. Hajime grabbed his hand and pushed a ring onto Tooru's finger. 

There was a sharp intake of air. Tooru's eyes became watery.

He tackled Hajime into a tight hug. Hajime laughed, and pulled Tooru in for a kiss.

_Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart._

There was a boom of thunder. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky.

They were eight years old. Tooru shrieked and threw himself under the covers of the bed. 

Hajime sighed and crawled under the blankets. Tooru was shivering.

Rain was beating down hard and loud on the windows. 

Hajime pulled Tooru up and into a hug. Tooru cried into his shirt. Hajime tried not to cringe at the growing wet blotch on his shirt.

Tooru's head slipped down against Hajime's chest, right against his heart. He began to relax at the steady beating.

Hajime was relieved to have comforted him in some way.

_I'm thinking out loud._

Hajime watched as Tooru's eyelashes brushed against his cheeks.

Some of his hair fell into his face, but he made no attempt to brush it away. His lips were parted ever so slightly.

His eyebrows raised as he noticed Hajime staring at him.

Hajime blinked slowly, but didn't look away.

Tooru's eyes were filled with something familiar. Hajime blinked a few times, wondering where he'd seen that look before.

Tooru asked him what he was thinking about. 

Hajime told him he was thinking about how beautiful he was. Tooru sputtered.

_That maybe we found love right where we are._

They were looking for it, searching desperately, as if it were a physically obtainable object.

It wasn't.

They had heard of it, and how almost everyone needed it to complete themselves. They had heard of amazing tales and stories about it, and they had wanted it more and more.

As children, they looked for it more subconsciously than anything. More often than not, they were thinking about other things.

In middle school, it had come into play. They looked everywhere but in front of them. Even when they saw straight ahead, it was unclear. 

In high school, they assumed that they would never find it. Instead, they clung desperately to the shambles of something that wasn't there.

In college, they found it lying in front of them. They never knew that it had been there the entire time.

It was love.

_Oh maybe we found love right where we are._

They had always been desperate.

They treated each day like it was their last with each other. Even at the slightest touch, one or both of them would grimace at the idea that the casual touching wouldn't last forever. 

They had moved into the same apartment, because they didn't go to the same university, but it wasn't really enough.

They were almost at a breaking point. Both of them thought that at any moment everything would snap and be lost.

There was never really a break or a snap when it happened. It was quick, and quiet, and anticlimactic. 

It was just the two of them, and they had just gotten into the house. Tooru dropped his presents on the floor and plopped onto the couch. Hajime had joined him, fidgeting awkwardly. He had been so confident before, but here he was, his heart racing and his breath becoming shallow. He didn't want to deal with rejection, but it was better than never taking the chance.

Tooru had given him a concerned look, and it had really driven Hajime forward. He blurted out the words, and a ridiculous explanation, and Tooru had sat, wide-eyed and shell shocked before he sobbed into Hajime's chest.

Hajime was kissing Tooru, and Tooru was crying. He looked beautiful even then, Hajime thought, and it hit him at full force that he was incredibly in love with this ridiculous man.

_And we found love right where we are._

It never really came with confusion.

It came with mixed feelings, and denial, but they both knew it had happened.

It was everyday, since they both realized, that they knew and were reminded of it over and over.

It was in the little things, and the big picture. It was in every single smile and look and touch that they knew.

There was never a question or a doubt about it.

It was always there, more of a fact than a theory. It was acknowledged and thought about so often. 

It was whenever they were together. It was when they squished together on the couch, and when they woke up every morning. It was when they were young, and when they were old. It was there at every hour of the day, at any time or place. It was the unspoken words that were exchanged between looks and actions.

It was always there, and they were always sure about it.

It was never a "maybe" or a "what if" but rather a completely confident conclusion of "definitely" and "I'm know it". 

It was always there, whether it was a small detail or the focal point.

It was love, and it was the one thing they were both sure about.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed yayay even if u didnt who cares not me its completely self satisfactory
> 
> wow that was longer than usual um idk what to say honestly
> 
> im serious next story will def be kyouhaba (if i can actually commit to writing it) (prob not bc some1 will say smth about the matsuhana cameo or smth and ill be like HAha OK and not do the kyouhaba)
> 
> @ hajime in the last "im thinking out loud" part that look is love u little bitch
> 
> PROTIP- dont do line by line if u want to do a song fic u run out of things to write (maybe we found love right where we are was repeated like 248938492958942 times it got super repetitive at the end bc i was sick and tired of making up new ideas for each line fukgcing kill me)
> 
> LAST THING I PROMISE !! for once i didnt base this off of my own life !!! bc this is too unrealistic !!! haha yeah bye


End file.
